Pr. Andrew Seeber, Ph.D.
Journal 10.1: Family Shaping Opportunities and Choices
The belongings of culture and family can significantly effect an individual’s actions, morals, opinions and character which relates completely one’s life experiences. The children take after the for they have not yet become self-determining and this is indeed the process of evolution. Where and how an individual is brought up can disturb their joy, humanity, performance, ethics, and personality. Family can shape one’s surrounding which may influence the culture, traditions, cultural norms, belief and cuisine.
My parents were never lovely-dovey or as others may call it, lovebirds. Also, not once did I think about their marriage or even the end of their marriage. They argued, and every other day my mommy would complain about my father’s untidy behavior, or forgetfulness. When my parents would get together it felt like a roast session at the dinner table. It is was funny to watch when we didn’t have guest, but when we did have guest it was painful to watch. At some point in their marriage they both confessed to me that they wish they’d never married. When I started going over to my friends’ houses, I saw a variety of relationships. There were parents, who lost their partner, or the kid lost both parents; those who aren’t close but decide to still live in the same house and co-parent, parents who no longer get on, but the bickering has become part of the house, and then there were those who did small acts of appreciation and kindness for each other. In my household culture, arguing and bickering was seen as normal.
As a kid, the youngest two older siblings I was not raised with, I value individual happiness over caring for others. I learned empathy from observing my mother as a child, I’m sure as we get older we realize that empathy includes seeing another person’s point of view and more. I would teach my children or kids in my presence that to really be empathetic they need to understand how to value, respect and understand another person’s views, even when they don’t agree with them. From my understanding compassion and seeing things from another person’s perspective, can help prevent bullying. From observing my mother, I believe I was able to develop these qualities, even watching her undergoing my identification for me. My mother always made my emotional needs feel important, was very interest and involvement in my life, and respected my traits, I felt more than loved and valued. I would teach my children how it feels to be valued so that they can value others and validate respect for others emotional needs. I learned from looking back at how I learned empath, if we make others feel like they matter, our children reciprocate that to others and soon we have caring and compassionate human beings.
Due to my parents’ statues I was able to receive amazing job opportunities, scholarships, traveling learning experiences, and respect. In my 20 years of life I have not been closed to an opportunity due to what my family could or could not due. My mother is always front and center when it come to simple or life changes opportunities, and I respect her so much for her loyalty and believing in my future.